What You Look For In A Long-Term Relationship

Relationships are hard.

I date a lot of girls but I’ve never called any of them my girlfriend. There are some girls I’ve dated once or twice and decided never to talk to them again. There are girls I’ve dated for months and just let things fade away like the melting snow in Washington, DC;  there was this one girl that I had a hot weekend with me that left me wondering if I was just put on the hook. I don’t have to worry about that last one much because she’s getting married some marine.

I don’t know if I’m picky about who I want to see long-term or if I just haven’t found the right girl for me. Sometimes though it’s tough to be a single guy in a big city, where all your friends are in wonderful relationships or marriages. Sometimes it makes you wonder if you just need to have someone around just to get by, just to fight off the loneliness. You know- a “just for now girl.”

Some friends would balk at me upon hearing this- they would tell me it’s not worth wasting my time over a girl that’s not good for the long haul. Others may say hey, she’s good for now- why can’t you be somewhat content right now, or at least less sad?

AP Photo/Nick Wass

It’s a changing world out there: people are waiting longer to make that eternal commitment of marriage, with some deciding to avoid it all together (see: Clooney. George). Divorce rates make marriage a 50/50 chance at making a mistake, and today’s generation may not want to take that gamble.

When I think of long-term commitment you can look at a girl and think about her looks, her job, her family, her interests and have it paint a picture that may match what you are looking for in the long haul- but how to you really know if she’s the one? I bet if I asked most of my happily married couples they’ll tell me that it’s not because he/she had the right look, job, or interests- but it just clicked, it’s something that we can’t fully describe or quantify.

This season the Red Sox have a tough decision over Victor Martinez. With an expiring contract, the slugger is looking to stay in Boston and avoid free agency. Will the Sox commit to V-Mart, is he worth a long term marriage with the Sox?

The Red Sox have shown they are willing to say “next” to numerous stars, we’ve seen Pedro, Damon, and most recently Jason Bay shown the door when the big question has been popped. They are obviously looking for someone that is going to be the right match with the club not just for now- but for the future.

I could sit here and list numbers and stats that state whether he should stay or go- numbers like how his OPS was more than 150 points lower when he plays catcher (.783 versus .942.) But I’m not going to do that.

That’s because when you are courting a long-term player it’s more than just being a good player, it’s being a good fit for the team.

Now his numbers and performance won’t be a factor, Martinez has a solid contact bat with power and he appears to still be near his prime. He’s only 31 and with a long-term deal we should be able to expect 4-5 years of production at a position of need.

Now, what we need to ask is can V-Mart thrive in a big media market like Boston on a long-term basis? Can V-Mart step up and be a role-model and leader for the young rookies in the dugout? Can he work with a great pitching staff and call good games? Does he have those intangibles that tell you he’s “the one”?

I think he does, and that’s why I hope Victor Martinez gets his wish- and remains a Boston Red Sox for years to come.